If there's one book that can help you, it's this one!
Richard Gartner's book, his words, his depth of understanding, his ability to connect with the reader in a safe and compassionate and empowering way, is stunning. It has been like holding up a mirror to our life, to the nuances and difficulties in our marriage, to the rage and shame that my husband has lived with for decades. He has never been able to read a book on this topic until this one - Gartner speaks as though he's speaking directly to the reader. It feels as though he's written this just for you. Read this book if you are a male survivor of sexual abuse - and read it if you are a spouse or partner too. As a spouse trying to understand the complexities of these issues, this book is a life saver. I cannot recommend it highly enough. If you want one single book on this topic, choose this one. I have several others that can't even come close to the precision and insight and simplicity and understanding that exist in these pages. Thank you Richard Gartner for this gift.

Life changing assistance
Gartner has written a must-read book for those of us in recovery. I've read several books on the subject, and "Beyond Betrayal" almost seems to be written directly about MY life. I learned so much about myself by reading and journaling along with this wonderfully helpful book. It has been extremely helpful to my wife as well...she understands so much about me now. Thanks Dr. Gartner!

An instant classic -- thank you for this wonderful book!
We just don't have to feel so alone any more. Dr. Gartner's amazing earlier book, Betrayed as Boys, was written for professionals but he used language that many laymen (including me) can find moving and useful. In Beyond Betrayal, he writes directly to men like us as well as to our partners, spouses, and loved ones. Beyond Betrayal speaks so directly to my own experience as a man trying to heal from boyhood abuse that I almost felt he knew me and wrote it specifically for me. There is a stunning description of early betrayal and how it leads to severe problems with trust in relationships later on. He then leads you through how society cheats you by making you believe that men can't be victims. The result of this is that we often believe that our abuse was our own fault -- leading to shame, silence, and guilt. This section was especially startling and remarkable. He covers all the bases, including abuse by priests and other clergy, abuse by women that we are told is "sexual initiation," and so many other facets of boyhood sexual abuse!

But he dioesn't stop there. Dr Gartner also tells us how to find our way. I not only felt understood, but also felt I got specific tools to move me along a path of healing. The section on how to find a therapist (even if you live in an isolated area not likely to have specialists in boyhood abuse) will be a godsend to many men. So is his section on things we can do for ourselves in addition to therapy. And our partners and loved ones -- who are often really left out in the cold in books like this -- will also find relief, comfort, and specific ways to help themselves, us, and our relationships as we journey together.

Thank you, Dr. Gartner!

Life Changing
This book was the first one I read when I finally chose to accept my abuse. It is sensitive, compassionate, and full of positivity. Some of the stories from other surviviors will force you to recall similarities in your life, but in the end, it will help you to appreciate that you're not alone and you will become a Survivor of Childhood Sexual Abuse and no longer a Victim. Mr. Gartner will give you the tools that you need to move forward and live a life that you always knew you could live. It will not happen over night or over a month or even a year, but it will happen!!

What do YOU do now?
In the early months of therapy my therapist suggested this book. She had listened to me when I said that the other books seemed to be about victims, but not 'of' victims; she said this book was geared more from the victims' perspective. Reading it was one of the defining moments in my healing; this was a turning point. I read about people just like me; I read about how they felt and how they expressed it to Dr Gartner; I read about them not wanting to say the truth because they feared reprisal or ridicule; I read about things I thought only I felt, suffered, endured and held inside. I read reality and it hit home, it hit home hard and true and I let go of something. I let go of the illusion that I was the only one in the whole world that felt like that. I let go - so simple yet so profound, and in letting go I opened a small window to let my therapist see into my world. If you doubt anyone ever enduring the same as you, read this book. Skim it if you will; jump about through the paragraphs; read one page a day if it hurts but, please, read it. Read the real people. Know, in you heart, that you are truly not alone. You have to do that for 'you' now.