Product Details
- Author: John M. Gottman, Nan Silver
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- Binding: Paperback
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- Dewey Decimal Number: 306.81
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- EAN: 9780609805794
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- ISBN: 0609805797
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- Label: Three Rivers Press
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- Manufacturer: Three Rivers Press
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- Number of Items: 1
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- Number of Pages: 288
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- Product Group: Book
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- Publication Date: 1999-05-16
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- Publisher: Three Rivers Press
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- Release Date: 2000-05-16
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- Studio: Three Rivers Press
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- Title: The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert
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Avg Customer Rating: 
Product Description: According to most relationship books, the key to a solid marriage is communication, communication, communication. Phooey, says John Gottman, Ph.D., author of the much-lauded Why Marriages Succeed or Fail. There's much more to a solid, "emotionally intelligent" marriage than sharing every feeling and thought, he points out--though most couples therapists ineffectively (and expensively) harp on these concepts. Gottman, the director of the Gottman Institute, has found through studying hundreds of couples in his "love lab" that it only takes five minutes for him to predict--with 91 percent accuracy--which couples will eventually divorce. He shares the four not-so-obvious signs of a troubled relationship that he looks for, using sometimes amusing passages from his sessions with married couples. (One standout is Rory, the pediatrician who didn't know the name of the family dog because he spent so much time at work.) Gottman debunks many myths about divorce (primary among them that affairs are at the root of most splits). He also reveals surprising facts about couples who stay together. They do engage in screaming matches. And they certainly don't resolve every problem. "Take Allan and Betty," he writes. "When Allan gets annoyed at Betty, he turns on ESPN. When Betty is upset with him, she heads for the mall. Then they regroup and go on as if nothing's happened. Never in forty-five years of marriage have they sat down to have a 'dialogue' about their relationship." While this may sound like a couple in trouble, Gottman found that they pass the love-lab tests and say honestly that "they are both very satisfied with their relationship and they love each other deeply." Through a series of in-depth quizzes, checklists, and exercises, similar to the ones he uses in his workshops, Gottman provides the framework for coping with differences and strengthening your marriage. His profiles of troubled couples rescued from the brink of divorce (including that of Rory, the out-of-touch doctor) and those of still-happy couples who reinvigorate their relationships are equally enlightening. --Erica Jorgensen
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Customer Reviews
Amazing book!
I read this book back when I was unsure of the relationship between my husband to be and me. We had been together about 2 years. When we took the life goals questionnaire near the end of the book, I knew that he was the one for me! We had the same relationship goals we both wanted to actively strive for. It let us understand each other better as well. It thus changed my life, since I was more confident of the success of our relationship, and sure enough, 5 years later, we are blissfully happy together!
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Well written and easy to read
I purchased this book for a friend, but decided to read parts of it before relinquishing it. It is well written and easy to read. I love that it is for couples that are in the midst of turmoil or couples that have a pretty solid foundation. I am going to buy a copy for my fiance and me for a guideline when we get even more comfortable together!
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77 principles
Its more 77 principles with its proper exercises. Gives you a down to earth overview on the matter. Not a magic book but will tell you that to improve the comunication and talk openly is not the final answer. Its been helpful to me, for my marriage and for my job as a therapist.(obviouly not a couples therapist).
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Genius in regards to relationships!
Gottman is a Genius when it comes to male/female relationships. I would suggest that anyone even thinking about getting married read this with their significant other first!
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Alot of common sense
Okay. So I feel that anyone who stops to think about life and peoples reaction and who takes the motto do until others what you would like others to do for you or treat others like you would like to be treated is pretty much set wthin the principles that make up 75% of this book. The other 25% I considered to be food for thought, nothing more. This book didn't offer me any significant insight though it did offer me some peace of mind.
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