You dont have to like it, simply understand it!
I don't know why I depend on this book when I feel weak, depressed, sad, or passive. I read also when I am in need for inspiration and courage for direction in life and love. I find that I didn't agree with his ideas but in time something he wrote will come to mind and start making sense and feel exactly like he wrote. For example "live as if your father were dead" was one that did not hit home at first. Now that my sick father has confesed that he will not make it for 3 more months, I feel grief and pain, yet a liberation of something profound.

I also find that when I am not following my deepest purpose and not living with integrity, I feel dumb, slow, depressed, and unattractive. When I live with purpose and integrity, I am energetic, alive, happy, and very attractive and charismatic. My experience with every male friend who is not living to his potential, is always, always because of his passiveness, fear of following his purpose, and/or putting women first. It is sad but very true. I recently recommended this book to a friend who's on the gray zone of life. After reading this book, he projected his current life problem's to what David Deida talks about. This book is causing him to wake up and keeps challenging his mind.

The most painful parts are "dont change your mind to please a woman", "she doesnt really want to be number one", and "dont force the femenine to make decisions". The best relationship and time with women were when I was at my peak. Going to college, exercising, working hard, inspired, productive and full of purpose. Women flowed constantly in my direction. They would even ask me out and pay for dinner or any opportunity to be with me. I then met my ex girlfriend who loved me for what I was and who I was being, then suddenly I stopped doing all these things just to be with her and she was becoming distant and unattracted to me. She even mentioned that I didnt have a backbone or direction anymore. I lost my direction and purpose and it all went down. I learned the bad way, and continue to learn everyday from this book. Please give it time, and notice how it all ties with the experiences in your life.

thumbs up
I definitely recommend this book. It has helped me become mentally stronger, as well as better understand what is going on in the mind of my girlfriend. I think I am now giving off a better aura of confidence, which she notices (either consciously or subconsciously). I think I have earned more respect from her. The only reason I didn't give this 5 stars is because I didn't understand some of the "mystical" ideas Deida presented in the book (i.e. how beer and music are feminine things). I do tend to like a lot of Taoist ideas, and Deida uses these a lot.

The way of the Superior Man
This is amazing. I purchase this book in volumn and give it to friends... men and woman.

The Wonderful Truth that Biological Roles Still Rule
I ripped through this book in a few hours; I just could not put it down.

David Deida is the first person I've ever heard so honestly identify and poetically communicate the true nature of the male/female relationship. For women who grew up in the 70's over developing accomplishment, intelligence and independence and woke up one day realizing they were actually craving more traditional roles, this book beautifully describes why that is so.

This book was recommended to me by some highly evolved people and after reading it, I can see why. Deida connects spiritual purpose as the basis of relationship fulfillment and that women -- especially the strong ones -- want nothing more than a man to be masculine enough to live his life "guided by (his) deepest truths, not (his) untended childhood wounds."

It is astounding the full circle our society has made from discrimination to the dawning of equal rights and now a swing back to traditional roles. Deida exquisitely explains how the biological roles operate now, however, with an all-pervading self awareness of a man's true spiritual nature which creates his "purpose" and becomes the driver of his human relationships. Bravo!

Deida reiterates the concept of "freedom" being so important for a man. On the surface, this could be a scary concept for an un-evolved woman to hear, but I found it fascinating how he discusses this as a deepening of integrity, celebration of masculinity and even goes so far as to describe it as the ultimate release of the human ego from the spiritual self. He teaches men to recognize their truest nature, part of which he describes as "build up and release" and metaphorically explains how this connects to sexual prowess, work, relationship and self understanding.

This is not some "airy fairy" stuff, it is real world, real gender issue-based observation that takes the popular "Men are from Mars: Women from Venus" concept to the 10th power.

Deida talks about the "polarity" of the male and feminine and I can see this is indeed the secret to the most deeply fulfilling relationships. In my mind, this book illuminates why the "feminization of men," served up so vehemently in the 1960's and 1970's, has been so damaging to relationships today. I thought I was one of the only crazy women who advocates men reclaiming their masculinity. Deida explains how a return to masculinity is not a reckless return to the Lazy-Boy-In-The-Garage-With-A-Beer-And-Football-Game brand of machismo, but a doorway to being a connected, natural and aware male who recognizes his gifts and that of his female companion as different, complementary, yet ultimately the same. There is nothing better than a man who has the unshakable maleness to see through my female emotionality and love me despite it. Deida discusses how this happens in utter detail.

Grateful for these insights.

Perilous Concepts for the Modern Workplace
Obviously, I am not the ideal target audience for this book.

This book was recommended to me by a friend. I found it a confronting and difficult read. That said; it did seem to explain some of the unfortunate dynamics that I have witnessed between men and women in the boardroom.

Deida starts from the contention that men and women are vastly different. This shouldn't be a difficult idea to defend. However, when descriptions of the feminine character seem to include notions of mindless vacillation it is hard for a woman who has earned a place in the higher echelons of business to sympathise with his point of view. Quotes such as "for the feminine, truth is a thin concept compared to the thickness of her flow of feelings" and "What your woman says is like a cloud passing in the sky; well formed, coherent, and unrecognizable moments later" raised feminist hackles I never knew I had.

Putting aside my automatic response to the evolutionary behaviouralism: The book is well written and thought provoking. The short chapters make it an excellent travelling companion and the introductory paragraphs before each chapter allow rapid assimilation of ideas. The book should comfort men who are uneasy with their role as masculine beings in workplaces replete with tough, dependable women. The advice to enjoy the delightful feeling that attractive women provoke in most men but not to act upon any sexual impulse arising from it would save plenty of employers the cost and distraction of harassment cases.

There is some good advice in this book. Recognising masculine and feminine traits, then selecting the most appropriate for each situation, may enable readers to be more effective in the modern workplace. Women readers will need to take a deep breath and remind themselves that Deida is talking about the superior man as compared to the inferior man and not as compared to women (whether superior or otherwise). Male readers will need to remember that, in a workplace where technical skills, contractual agreements and the supremacy of logic are the basis for success, they will be surrounded by women who act more like men and who expect to be accorded a masculine measure of respect.

Unlike Henry Higgins, Deida understands that for men and women to be more like each other is not always the best basis for exciting relationships, it may, however, be a good basis for trans-gender workplace friendships.

Now for the big question: Does this book help with exciting relationships outside the workplace? I'm not telling; you'll have to read it yourself!