Ever wonder where all the lesbian feminists have gone? Here is one answer. The author of Lesbian Polyfidelity dares to love outside the lines of monogamy and has generously provided suggestions for those who are trying to navigate honest love lives that respect each woman's differing needs. One by one, West shreds objections to loving more than one woman like so much confetti to throw in the face of the love police. With humor and wisdom, she assures us that love is not an addiction any more than fresh air is an addiction; there is plenty of both to go around. "Love is life affirming, generous, powerful, brave, and probably the most nourishing thing on this sad earth."
Is having more than one lover a psychopathology? The author tells us to avoid any psychotherapist who presents monogamy as the only healthy option.
While rewarding, polyfidelity offers its own challenges and this book provides suggestions for dealing with jealousy and setting personal boundaries. Along with her spiritual view of life, the author throws in a few breakfast recipes, reminding us to have healthy food around the house to sustain the emotional and physical energy required for relationships.
I was fortunate to have bought Lesbian Polyfidelity on line without having seen the cover. Though the cover is delightful -- a cartoon-like drawing of many cavorting nude women of various skin tones -- I might easily have judged this book by it and never picked it up, assuming that lesbian polyfidelity meant group sex or orgies (it doesn't), which interest me not at all. Instead, the book is about lesbian couples who want more fulfilling love lives but do not want to break up, and single women who enjoy variety.
This book is sex positive, love-positive, life-positive and lesbian-positive. Though skeptical about monogamy, it prescribes no one way to live or love, respecting the choices of women interested in no sex and those who want a lot. "Surely 'sexual liberation' also means the freedom to refrain from sex as we know it..." West writes.
Whether or not you ever explore a polyfidelitous life, this book provides an entertaining critique of our culture's assumptions about what is normal and possible.